How much are you worth?
Why is it so hard to remember our worth? Why is it so hard to know what we deserve?
It's human to compare. Does this mean it's right? No. But I feel like comparing is something that is in our nature. Whether it's comparison of looks, lifestyles, materialistic things, maybe even someone else's physique.
I've often struggled with feeling enough. Am I smart enough? Pretty enough? Tall enough? Slim enough? Strong enough? Do I have enough money? Talented enough? WHEN IS ENOUGH ENOUGH?
Sometime last year I realized just how often I was asking myself this question..and how often I was feeling inadequate. You see, I kept reaching for others' approval. I kept seeking for their praises and affirmation (this is one of my love languages- If you don't know what a love language is click the link below and take the test. You will learn so many things about yourself.)
Words of affirmation may be one of my love languages, but that doesn't mean I should be seeking it from others. That doesn't mean I should feel worthless without it and it especially doesn't mean that I AM worthless without it. I began to see how searching for approval and satisfaction from others was hindering my relationships, my outlook on myself and my daily life- because I truly wasn't happy. I felt drained trying to please others. I felt drained from failing at getting their approval and I felt drained because my mind was constantly spinning with questions in my head of ways to become better or what I was doing wrong.
I began to pray. I began to pray and listen to podcasts and spoken words. Honestly, half of them weren't even about how I was feeling because I wasn't searching for a cure - I truly didn't get the unhealthy spiral I was going down just yet. BUT, I constantly was grabbing at positivity, I needed it. I was constantly grabbing for God's word and taking part in active conversations with him. And you know what?... It began to make sense. You know how people say God told them something? I always thought all of those people meant physical words that they heard -which isn't always true. I truly feel God was trying to tell me something but he knows how stubborn I am so he knew I needed to come to that realization myself and he fed me it. He fed it to me word for word and let me believe that I came up with it myself.. but I heard you man.. I heard you.
You see, I began to realize no one else's approval truly matters but his. I AM enough. He died for me. I AM beautiful. He made me in his image.. I make mistakes but he takes those all on for me. I AM forgiven. When you truly LET GO, and LET GOD (as the people say) it is freeing. Oh SO freeing.
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